This photo was taken on Mother’s Day 2026.

And as I sat with it later, I realized…
it represents something I once had to grieve deeply.

Not just what I experienced growing up—
but what I never had.

The safety.
The trust.
The kind of love I now get to give.

Healing didn’t erase my past…
but by God’s grace, it changed what I carry forward.

And if I’m being completely honest…

There are moments in life when grief doesn’t just visit—
it settles in.

It lingers in your body.
It clouds your thoughts.
It reshapes your capacity.

And if we’re honest, it can feel confusing—especially when you love God.

Because somewhere along the way, many of us were taught—directly or indirectly—that if we have enough faith… we should be able to move on more quickly.

But what if that’s not true?

What if grief is not something to rush through…
but something God actually meets us inside of?

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The Grief I Didn’t Know I Was Carrying

I didn’t always understand that.

For a long time, I thought I was doing “well” because I wasn’t falling apart.

I was functioning.
I was moving forward.
I was building a life, raising my kids, showing up for the people around me.

And on the outside, it looked like strength.

But underneath… there were places in my heart that had never actually been grieved.

Not just the pain of what I experienced growing up—
but the absence of what should have been there.

I didn’t have a father who felt safe.
I didn’t have a father I could trust.
I didn’t have the kind of steady love, protection, and emotional covering that a young girl’s heart is designed to receive.

And for years, I didn’t call that grief.

I minimized it.
I pushed through it.
I told myself, “That was a long time ago… I’m fine.”

But in God’s kindness, He began to slow me down.

Not to punish me—
but to heal me.

He began to show me that I wasn’t just carrying wounds…
I was carrying ungrieved loss.

Loss of safety.
Loss of trust.
Loss of what should have been, but never was.

And everything shifted when I realized:

You can’t heal what you won’t grieve.

Grief doesn’t respond to strength.
It doesn’t disappear because you love Jesus.
And it doesn’t resolve on a timeline.

It waits…
until there is enough safety, enough truth, and enough space
for your heart to feel what it couldn’t feel before.

And that’s exactly where God met me.

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A Voice in Ramah: When Grief Refuses to Be Quiet

That’s why this passage feels so personal to me.

In Book of Jeremiah 31:15, we read:

“A voice is heard in Ramah, mourning and great weeping,
Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted…”

This is not quiet grief.
This is not composed or controlled.

This is grief that refuses to be rushed.

And notice—God doesn’t silence it.
He doesn’t correct it.
He doesn’t minimize it.

He names it.

Because one of the deepest fears we carry in suffering is:

“Is my pain too much?”

Scripture answers clearly:

No.

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The Verse That Changes Everything

Right after this, God says something that can feel confusing at first:

“Restrain your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears…” (Jeremiah 31:16)

If you’ve ever read that and felt a quiet pressure—
like maybe you should be further along…
like maybe you shouldn’t still feel this way…

you’re not alone.

But this is not a rebuke.

God is not telling Rachel to stop grieving.
He is speaking hope into her grief.

He is saying:

“This will not last forever.”

There will come a day when the tears are no longer needed like they are now.

That is not pressure.
That is promise.

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Grief Is Not a Lack of Faith

Let’s say this clearly:

Grief is not a sign that your faith is weak.

Grief is what happens when:

• something meaningful is lost
• something sacred is broken
• love has nowhere to go

And God does not ask you to shut that down.

• Psalms 34:18 → “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted”
• Ecclesiastes 3:4 → “A time to weep…”

Not avoid weeping.
A time for it.

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What Grief Does to Us

Grief reshapes more than our emotions.

It affects:

• our energy
• our relationships
• our capacity
• our sense of self

You may feel:

• withdrawn
• overwhelmed
• disconnected from who you used to be

And if we’re not careful, another layer forms on top of the grief:

Self-judgment.

“I should be over this.”
“What’s wrong with me?”
“Why am I still struggling?”

But here is the truth:

Nothing is wrong with you.

You are responding to something real.

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God’s Heart Toward the Grieving

Later in this same passage, God says:

“My heart yearns… I will surely have mercy.” (Jeremiah 31:20)

This is His posture toward the hurting.

Not:

• impatient
• frustrated
• disappointed

But:

• compassionate
• present
• full of mercy
• This is who He is.

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The Work God Is Doing Beneath the Surface

Jeremiah 31 doesn’t just speak to grief—it points to transformation.

“I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts…” (v.33)

Through Jesus Christ, this promise is fulfilled.

God is not asking you to fix yourself faster.

He is rewriting what you believe—from the inside out.

Replacing:

• self-reliance with dependence on Him
• shame with truth
• striving with surrender

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You Are Not Behind

If you’re in a season of grief right now, hear this:

You are not behind.
You are not failing.
You are not taking too long.

God is not measuring your progress the way you are.

He is walking with you.

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A Gentle Invitation

If you’ve been rushing your healing…
minimizing your pain…
or trying to be “strong” in ways that silence your heart…

slow down.

Let yourself grieve what was lost.

And trust that God is not standing over you with disappointment—
He is sitting with you in compassion.

Hold Onto This:

Your grief is real… but it is not the end of your story.

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Listen + Go Deeper

🎧 Listen to Episode 113: When God Says “I’m Not Done”: Healing, Hope, and the Promise of a New Heart

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Take the Next Step

🤍 Book a Biblical Counseling or Family Coaching session:

🏔️ Join a Renew & Restore Women’s Healing Retreat:

🛠️ Explore the Happy Kid Toolkit:

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Final Encouragement

You are not too much.
Your grief is not inconvenient to God.
And your healing is not being rushed by Him.

He sees you.
He is near.
And He is not finished with your story. 

It’s a great companion to this post and will give you even more encouragement and practical steps as you begin walking in renewal. 

With hope and gratitude