There’s a quiet tension many women carry…
especially those who love Jesus.

They believe God is good.
They know He is loving.
They’ve read the Scriptures.

And yet…

When it comes to trusting Him—really trusting Him—
something feels… off.

Hesitant.
Guarded.
Uncertain.

Not because they don’t want to trust Him.

But because somewhere in their story…
the people who were supposed to be safe—weren’t.

For many, that story begins with a father.

A father who:

• didn’t protect
• wasn’t emotionally safe
• was absent, controlling, harsh…or even abusive

And without realizing it…
those early experiences begin to shape
how we see God Himself.

So when Scripture says,

“God is your Father…”

It doesn’t always feel comforting.

Sometimes… it feels confusing.
Or distant.
Or even unsafe.

If that’s you…

I want you to know something:

You are not broken.

But something in your story may need to be untangled.

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Psalm 118 and the Truth We Long to Believe

Psalm 118:6 says:

“The Lord is on my side; I will not fear.”

That is a powerful promise.

But for many women, it doesn’t immediately feel true.

Because fear wasn’t just theoretical in your life—it was learned.

Your body remembers.
Your mind adapted.
Your heart built protective patterns.

So when you hear:

“God is on your side…”

Part of you may respond:

“I want to believe that…but I don’t know how.”

And that’s where this work begins.

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Why This Is Deeper Than “Just Have More Faith”

This isn’t just a spiritual issue.

It’s neurological.
It’s emotional.
It’s relational.

God designed your brain to protect you.

So if you grew up in an environment where:

• authority was unsafe
• love was inconsistent
• closeness led to harm

Your brain learned to associate:

• authority → danger
• closeness → risk
• trust → vulnerability to harm

Those patterns don’t just disappear when you come to know Christ.

They show up in your:

• thoughts
• emotions
• reactions
• relationships
• and even your view of God

This is what I often call the Pathway of Renewal:

Thoughts → Emotions → Reactions → Patterns → Relationship Culture

If the thoughts are shaped by past wounds…everything downstream is affected.

So when you struggle to trust God…It’s not because you’re failing.

It’s because your internal wiring has been shaped
by experiences that don’t reflect His character.

How Father Wounds Shape Your Pathway of Renewal:

Thought:
“I can’t trust authority. The people who were supposed to protect me didn’t.”
⬇️
Emotion:
Anxiety… fear… guardedness
⬇️
Reaction:
You hold back.
You overthink.
You keep emotional distance—even from God.
⬇️
Pattern:
You rely on yourself.
You stay in control.
You struggle to fully surrender or feel safe in relationship.
⬇️
Relationship Culture:
You feel alone… even in your relationship with God.
You believe in Him—but don’t experience Him as safe.

But Truth Shifts…When we Renew Our Minds:

New Thoughts:
“God is not like the people who hurt me. He is safe. He is steady. He is trustworthy.”
Over time…
⬇️
New Emotions:
Peace… security… calm
⬇️
New Responses:
You begin to open.
To pray honestly.
To let Him in—little by little.
⬇️
New Pattern:
Trust replaces control.
Surrender replaces striving.
⬇️
New Relationship Culture:
You begin to experience God as present, safe, and near.

✨ This is the pathway of renewal.
Not instant change… but transformation that happens
as truth slowly rewires what pain once shaped.

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The Turning Point: Separating God from Human Sin

This is the work.

This is the healing.

Learning to separate:
God’s character from human sin

Because for many women…those two have become intertwined.

What was done to you…has shaped how you see Him.

So let’s gently, clearly say this:

• God is not like the person who hurt you.
• God is not like the one who failed to protect you.
• God is not like the one who used power to harm you.

But here’s where it gets even deeper.

Many of us carry misbeliefs that formed in those painful experiences:

• “God must not care.”
• “If He was good, He would have stopped it.”
• “I’m safer on my own.”
• “I can’t trust authority.”

Healing is not about shaming those thoughts.

It’s about bringing them into the light
and gently replacing them with truth.

Scripture invites us to:

• “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2)
• “Take every thought captive” (2 Corinthians 10:5)

Not through force.

But through truth…
experienced over time.

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Who God Actually Is

So if God is not like the one who hurt you…

Who is He?

God is:

• A refuge—present and strong in your time of need (Psalm 46:1)
• Near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18)
• Gentle and lowly in heart (Matthew 11:28–30)
• Consistent and unchanging (Hebrews 13:8)
• Light, with no darkness in Him at all (1 John 1:5)

He does not force relationship.
He invites it.
He doesn’t rush trust.
He builds it.

And for many of us…this isn’t something we understand all at once.

It’s something we experience slowly.

In quiet moments.
In unexpected peace.
In steady presence.

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A New Picture of Trust

Maybe you’ve heard this before:

“A child walking through a dark forest, holding their father’s hand.”

And that’s beautiful…
If your father was safe.

But if he wasn’t…
That image can fall apart.

So instead of forcing a picture that doesn’t fit…

What if we allowed God to meet us where we are?

Not grabbing.
Not forcing.
Not demanding trust.

But walking beside you.

Steady.
Gentle.
Patient.

Showing more and more of Himself over time…

Until your body begins to learn something new:

What safe presence actually feels like.

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How This Shows Up in Real Life (The Unhappy Kid Triangle)

When we don’t feel safe…

we develop protection patterns.

You might recognize these:

• collapsing into fear or overwhelm
• controlling everything to avoid getting hurt
• pushing people away to protect yourself

These aren’t flaws. They’re strategies your heart developed to survive.

But Psalm 118 invites us into something different:

Not self-protection…but God as our protection.

A movement toward:

• trust instead of fear
• surrender instead of control
• connection instead of isolation

And this doesn’t happen overnight.

It happens as we begin to:

• Notice our patterns
• Identify our beliefs
• And gently bring truth into those spaces

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Reflection: A Gentle Place to Begin

Take a moment and sit with these:

1. What did my earthly father teach me about safety?
2. Where might I be projecting those beliefs onto God?
3. Where have I already seen that God is different?
4. What would it feel like to believe—even a little—that He is safe?

No pressure.
Just awareness.

---

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You Are Not Alone

If this is your story…
You are not alone.

And more importantly—
God is not who hurt you.

Psalm 118 doesn’t deny your pain.
It offers something deeper:

“The Lord is on my side…”

Not because your story was easy.
But because even in the hardest parts of it…
He has been present.

And healing begins…
when you begin to see Him clearly.

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Next Steps

You don’t have to walk this journey alone.
If today’s reading resonated with you, I want to invite you to take some next steps…

Listen to Episode 105
I want to invite you to listen to the full podcast episode. In this episode, I walk through this journey more personally—sharing my own story, unpacking Psalm 118, and gently guiding you through what it looks like to begin rebuilding trust with God. You can listen right here:

Work with me
I offer biblical counseling and family coaching to help you:

• process your story
• renew your mind
• and experience lasting transformation

Join a Retreat
My Renew & Restore Women’s Healing Retreats are designed to create space for deep emotional and spiritual healing in a safe, Christ-centered environment.

The Happy Kid Toolkit
A practical, faith-based tool to help you:

• understand your patterns
• take thoughts captive
• and grow in emotional and relational health

You are not too far gone.
You are not too broken to heal.

And you are not alone. 

With hope and gratitude,