A biblical look at suffering, chronic pain, and how God’s grace meets you when healing hasn’t come

There’s a moment that happens before a migraine hits.

It’s subtle. Easy to miss if I’m not paying attention.
But once I feel it…

I know.

I know I have a very small window.

A small window to take the medicine.
A small window before everything shifts.

And once it does…

my whole day changes.

The medicine helps—but it comes at a cost.

It leaves me foggy.
Slowed down.
Unable to think clearly.
So tired I can barely function.

What I thought the day was going to be…
what I had planned, prepared for, hoped for…

is suddenly gone.

And sometimes…

I have to cancel an entire day of counseling clients.

People I care deeply about.
Conversations that matter.
Work I feel called to do.

That part is hard.

Because it’s not just physical pain—
it’s the ripple effect it has on everything else.

And if I’m honest?

That’s where the deeper struggle shows up.

Not just the migraine itself—
but the loss of control.

The unpredictability.
The interruption.
The surrender I didn’t choose.

This photo was taken on a quiet afternoon.

I wasn’t in pain in this exact moment…
but I had been the day before.

And I knew—it could come again at any time.

That’s the reality of chronic suffering.

You don’t always know:

• what caused it
• when it’s coming
• or how much it will take from you

And over time… it forces you into a question:

👉 What do I do when I can’t control this?

For me, the answer hasn’t come easily.

It’s been learned… slowly…
through days I didn’t want…
through moments I couldn’t fix…

I’ve had to learn how to surrender.

Not in theory.

But in real life.

To lay down:

• my plans
• my expectations
• my need to stay in control

And to trust, again and again:

👉 His grace is sufficient for me.

Not because the pain disappears. But because He meets me in it.

And maybe your story doesn’t look like migraines.

Maybe it’s something else that keeps showing up…
something you’ve prayed about, asked God to take away, hoped would change by now.

A diagnosis.
Anxiety that won’t lift.
A relationship that still hurts.
A situation that feels stuck.

Different details…
same question:

👉 What do I do when God doesn’t take this away?

Because at some point, the struggle isn’t just the pain itself…

It’s what the pain begins to say.

It whispers things like:

• This shouldn’t be happening.
• God must be distant.
• Maybe I did something wrong.
• Maybe this is just how it’s always going to be.

And if we’re not careful…

we start interpreting our suffering through those thoughts
instead of through truth.

That’s why we have to come back to Scripture.

Not for quick answers.
Not to minimize what we’re feeling.

But to anchor ourselves in what is true
when everything else feels uncertain.

Because the Bible doesn’t ignore suffering.

It speaks directly into it.

With honesty.
With depth.
And with a kind of hope that doesn’t depend on everything changing.

So let’s walk through what Scripture actually shows us…

about pain that lingers,
about prayers that feel unanswered,
and about the kind of grace that meets us right in the middle of it.

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Not All Suffering Is a Result of Sin

This is one of the biggest misunderstandings I see—especially among believers who genuinely love the Lord.

We assume:

👉 If something is wrong… I must have done something wrong.

But in John 9:1–3, Jesus’ disciples ask Him about a man born blind:

“Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”

That question reveals their assumption:

👉 suffering must be tied to sin

But Jesus responds:

“It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.”

Let that sink in.

This man’s suffering was not punishment.
It was a platform.

Now, this doesn’t mean all suffering has an immediately visible purpose.

But it does mean this:

👉 Your pain is not automatically evidence of failure.

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God Uses Affliction to Refine, Not Just Remove

This is where things can feel uncomfortable—but also incredibly grounding.

In Psalm 119:71, David writes:

“It was good for me to be afflicted, that I might learn Your statutes.”

That’s not something you write from theory.

That’s something you say after walking through something hard…
and seeing what it produced.

Affliction has a way of:

• exposing what we’re relying on
• stripping away self-sufficiency
• drawing us closer to God in a way comfort never could

Think about this in real life…
When everything is going well, it’s easy to:

• rely on your own strength
• move through your day without much dependence on God
• stay in control

But when pain enters the picture?
Control disappears.
And suddenly:

👉 prayer becomes real
👉 dependence deepens
👉 your need for Him becomes undeniable

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When God Doesn’t Remove It—He Gives Grace

This is where we have to sit in one of the most honest passages in Scripture:

In 2 Corinthians 12:7–10, Paul talks about his “thorn in the flesh.”

We don’t know exactly what it was—but we know this:

👉 it was painful
👉 it was persistent
👉 and he asked God to take it away

Three times. And God said no.
Instead, He said:

“My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.”

That’s not the answer most of us want.
We want relief.
But what God offered Paul was something deeper:

👉 His presence
👉 His sustaining power
👉 His strength in the middle of weakness

And Paul’s response?

“Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

This is a complete shift in perspective.

Not:
👉 “My pain is gone, so God is good”

But:
👉 “My pain is still here… and God is still with me”

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Weakness Is Not Failure—It’s an Invitation

Everything in us resists weakness.

We want to:

• push through
• hold it together
• prove we’re okay

But Scripture tells us something radically different:

👉 weakness is where God’s power shows up most clearly

Think about a moment in your own life…
A time when you felt:

• completely depleted
• emotionally overwhelmed
• physically exhausted

And yet… somehow, you kept going.

Not because you were strong.

But because something beyond you was sustaining you.
That’s what Paul is talking about.

👉 not self-strength
👉 but Christ-strength

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God’s Presence Is the Miracle

This is the part that has personally reshaped my own understanding of suffering.

As someone who has walked through chronic migraines for years…
I’ve had to wrestle with this deeply.

There have been so many moments where I’ve prayed:

“God, please take this away.”

And sometimes… He hasn’t.

But what I’ve experienced instead is this:

👉 He meets me in it
👉 He sustains me through it
👉 He strengthens me in ways I wouldn’t have known otherwise

And slowly, my definition of “miracle” began to shift.

Not just:

👉 the pain being removed

But:

👉 His presence being undeniable in the middle of it

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So What Do You Do With This?

Let’s bring this into real life.

If you’re walking through ongoing pain right now, here are a few ways to respond:

1. Come Honestly Before God

You don’t need polished prayers.

Psalm 6 shows us raw, honest lament.

👉 “How long, O Lord?”

That’s a faithful prayer.

2. Stop Interpreting Pain as Punishment

Ask yourself:

👉 Am I assuming this means I’ve done something wrong?

Then bring that belief before God.

✨ 3. Ask for Healing—and Trust Him at the Same Time

You are allowed to pray boldly.

And…

You are invited to trust Him, even if the answer is not what you hoped.

✨ 4. Look for Where God Is Working in You

Not in a forced way.

But gently ask:

👉 What is this season producing in me?

✨ 5. Let Yourself Be Weak

Stop striving to “handle it better.”

Let your weakness:

👉 draw you closer to Him
👉 not push you further into shame

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Encouragement

If you’re in this place right now…

Please hear this:

👉 God is not absent in your suffering
👉 Your pain is not meaningless
👉 And your story is not over

He is with you.

Even here.

Listen to the Full Episode

If this resonated with you, I walk through this more deeply in:

Episode 103: When God Doesn’t Heal

You can listen right here:

Free Resource

I also created a 5-day devotional to walk with you through this: “When the Pain Doesn’t Leave”

👉 Click here to get the free devotional

Need Support?

If you’re in a season where you need someone to walk alongside you…

I offer Biblical Counseling and Family Coaching, and I would be honored to support you.

👉 happyfamilycoach.com

If You Need Space to Process This More Deeply

Sometimes healing doesn’t happen in the middle of a busy, noisy life.

Sometimes… we need to step away.

To slow down.
To breathe.
To sit with God in a way that everyday life doesn’t always allow.

That’s why I host Renew & Restore Women’s Healing Retreats.

These retreats are designed to create space for:

• honest reflection
• Scripture-centered teaching
• guided journaling and prayer
• and meaningful connection with other women walking through their own stories

One of the locations I host these in is Joshua Tree, California—a quiet, desert setting where everything slows down.

There’s something about the stillness there…
the simplicity…
the space…
that allows you to hear God more clearly.

It’s not about escaping your life.
It’s about creating room
for God to meet you in it.

If you feel a pull toward something like that…
you can learn more and explore upcoming retreats here:

👉 happyfamilycoach.com/events

With hope and gratitude,